If she asks you to fuck her without a condom, you ain’t the first one

Run away or triple wrap it. On the other hand if she insists on a condom, it’s safe and clear seas, so you should try your best to slip it in without one. If she protests and asks you what you are doing, say “Ohhh, shit! Fuckkk…..”  act like the condom broke and you are very very upset about it. Matter of fact make her feel a little bad about it as if you are freaked out about getting something from her. Then, let a big sigh out, look at her and say “Fuck it, it’s in already, I hope you don’t do this with other people” almost in an insulting tone. She will now be in a position of almost certain guilt. This is the best fuck ever. Not only have you successfully put your dick in without a condom, now you get to do whatever you want to her because she’s in that inferior mindset of guilt.

Having put this information out there, don’t be going around raping girls, or even you do don’t tell anyone you read it here. Also, seriously this shit won’t work on every girl, you may just get slapped and thrown the fuck out, but you know that’s a different fun on its own. It’ll definitely make for a great blog post. wait…

What are your thoughts on safe sex? Since I’m such the authority. Condoms are so unfair, I feel like our technology must be at a point where all the problems related to this activity which along with eating and taking shit is the most pleasurable thing a human being can do.

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    914 thoughts on “If she asks you to fuck her without a condom, you ain’t the first one

    1. HAHAHA I love this post. Let’s see…if it were moi, I would definitely do the whole smacking thing like, “Are you fucking kidding me! Get out!” as in get your condomless dick out my vagina because the last thing I need is a motherfucker to cum inside me and claim “oh shit, im so sorry. it felt soooo good! i forgot to pull out.” therefore confirming a trip to CVS for Plan B. Not happening.

      They’re on their way to developing birth control for men. ;) That should make those trigger dicks happy.

      • Haha I have to agree with her! And if a guy tried to guilt trip me or play mind games they would probably get a slap and I’d never talk to them again.

            • oooh! Story time!

              so once upon a time a friend of mine was dating lots of women. Well, like 4 or 5. He had a primary and several other lovers, everyone was open and fairly happy about it.

              Anyway, on of the “other lovers” was jealous, and wanted to be the primary. Always whining “Why won’t you leave her and just be with meeeee? ”

              She was open about wanting to mother a child for him.

              One day, when sexytime was imminent, he came out of the bathroom, and caught her poking holes through the condom wrappers.

              “oh HELL no. No more of that kind of sex.”

              But he keeps letting her go down on him. After he finishes, she always runs to the bathroom, “to spit” he thinks.

              Eventually he begins to wonder though, and follows her to the bathroom. Opens the door, and she is sitting with a turkey baster trying to inseminate herself. Because maybe, just MAYBE, if she manages to have his baby, he will love her more and leave his primary lover.

              So it was pretty much quits after that, especially when she kept stalking him and eventually killed his cat and hung it from his front porch because he got a restraining order against her.

              /was this story relevent? I dunno. maybe I just wanted to tell it.

    2. I mean if it’s a fling, yeah, wrap it up. If it’s a long term trusting monogamous relationship in which both partners have been tested and there’s (relatively) no risk for an unwanted pregnancy, go for it.

      That being said, I know someone who had their wife cheat on them and they wound up catching herpes… so… yeah…

    3. This is my story.

      I had a friend a few years ago. We were constant companions, and he’d crashed with me a few times. One night, alcohol, hanging out, he asked to stay over. I thought nothing of it so we went into bed, talking merrily the whole time. He had a girlfriend and nothing suspicious had ever happened before, so we’d be fine, right? Of course not.

      Alcoholic passions and indifferences took over. We had sex, sans condoms because neither of us had planned on this. We both knew each other well enough to know that we were very likely clean, anyway.

      Sometime during, he stops moving and says, “…Um, is there something up there?”
      “Yes,” I say, “That’s my birth control.” It’s a small plastic ring – NuvaRing, which I’m still on – that releases a low dose of hormones to keep the pregnant away. We continue.

      He pulls out just in case. We sleep. We go again in the morning, he pulls out again. He goes back to sleep, I go to class. I return some hours later and begin to make the bed. We’re talking calmly, this was not necessarily the best idea was it? Nope, but here we are. Well, alright.

      Except that my hand brushes something hard and plastic in the bed. I stop, I’m looking at nothing. “…What is this, in the sheets?”
      “Oh, that’s your ring. It fell out some time last night.”

      Sometime last night. Some time before he came, definitely before we had our morning round. Hours between those two things, hours between then and that moment. I feel the floor under me turn to liquid. My soul feels like it is seeping out of my chest, down my ribcage, out of me completely. I am shaking and I feel sick. I am shaking and sick, typing this now.

      I quietly, quickly run to the bathroom and re-insert it. The maximum amount of time the hormones will last outside of the body, they say, is a few hours.

      Even though a test says “Negative,” two months later my period is heavy.

      ~

      He never really came back after that, once he’d realized what he’d done. He stopped in for a few minutes once or twice, but he never addressed the issue. I couldn’t tell any of our friends, not given what was at stake, especially since I wasn’t sure. He was the only person in the whole world who could have been there for me as my friend right then, and he wouldn’t.

      I lost my friend and gained a month of paralyzing, heart-slamming fear. I had been so careful to keep up my end of the bargain, to maintain my birth control, to make sure I picked the right partners, and none of it mattered because this one person who I trusted and who trusted me…he failed. As a lover, as a friend, and as a person.

      Not many people know anything about this. It takes a lot out of me to tell it.

      • Important note on that nuva ring – TAKE IT THE FUCK OUT BEFORE PROTECTED SEX. Mine removed a condom once.

        there was one time I was sexing with a new partner I had recently met on an online dating site… someone you do NOT want to be bare backing with. We finish, lay there for a bit in that post coital bliss, he goes to take it off, and says, “uh… it’s..not there.”

        “WTF DO YOU MEAN IT’S NOT THERE!? I saw you put it on!”

        I’m pissed, thinking he slipped it off like an asshole… but we look and can’t find it anywhere. I don’t know what made me think to check inside, but there it was. Wrapped around my damned nuva ring.

        • What the fuck is it with this Nuva thing, I’ve never had a girl wear that. Sounds like it should be more popular. Anywho. Thanks for telling the story. Im not going to lie and say your detailed description of the sex didn’t give me a hardon because it did however the moral lessons of it have outlasted my hardon. Thank you once again for the story and your friend is an idiot.

    4. what if the only person you’re fucking you are so animalistically attracted to, to the point where you feel your not conscious enough to make such decisions at the time because all you can think about is the skin of his huge throbbing cock pushing its way inside of you? with this person i lose control. my heart is pounding and my hands are shaking just thinking about it.

    5. I always use them unless in a committed and monogamous relationship where both parties have come up clean after being tested. I would prefer to not get any diseases which is my reasoning behind usually making guys use one. The first time I ever had sex I was drunk and slept with a friend of my brother’s in the stair well of a hotel we were at for a party. Needless to say it was unprotected and finding out about a month later that the guy had Chlamydia sent a fear in me that I do not ever wish to feel again. Thankfully I came up negative when I went for testing. Also, birth control is not always effective and I would prefer to not wind up pregnant with some one night stand’s offspring. So with that said, the guy would probably end up getting a slap and kicked the fuck out.

    6. The only time I’d ever consider having unprotected sex with any guy is if I have been sleeping with them on the regular for an extended period of time.And I knew for a fact that they weren’t off fucking everyone they meet.I don’t need no fucked up disease.I have enough issues as is lol.

      And a sure fire way to avoid the whole pregnant this is to just swallow or go anal..Just saying =)

    7. been there done that have a 17 yr old girl stupid 9 yr old I was I pulled out he said pre cum r the faster swimmers lol

    8. *sigh* You make me laugh, hard, and out loud…. Condoms are mandatory, if a woman insists, who’s to say she hasn’t had a bad/faulty experience in the past and is simply keeping that from you and protecting you both?

      We all have our personal experiences… good, bad, and otherwise. It is through those experiences we learn. I insist that my partners be tested when the topic of sex comes into play and it seems the relationship will eventually head to the bedroom, the floor… wherever.

      I get that it’s uncomfortable to wear, but we’re not trying to only prevent babies, we’re trying to prevent life threatening disease ultimately. And isn’t it most important that your sexual partners want to maintain their health as well as yours?! Yes.

      Every monogamous relationship I’ve had (aside from 1) resulted in my partner cheating (perhaps this is only a reflection of me, and the person i once was-believe me, I make better choices) on me. I will forever be thankful that I took the necessary precautions and have a clean bill of health because of it. Also, it is my belief that monogamy is a fallacy, but that’s another discussion/post entirely…. we are meant to love more than one being for eternity (at least, I am).

      We all make mistakes. No one person is perfect, and I don’t know anyone that hasn’t had a condom break on them. My simple advice, educate yourself! If your partner is insistent that you NOT use protection, there is a greater problem that needs to be dealt with. Of course there are exceptions to the rule, and truly, that depends upon the pair having intercourse, communicating and being aware of their risks.

      Oh, and I have slapped and kicked out a guy from my place for trying…
      It is funny what guys will attempt when they think no one is paying attention.

      Also, RAPE is never acceptable. End of story.

      Be careful whom you bed and put on a condom!

      Best, a.

    9. My last post was to respond to first post about having baby lol . But anywho the old mightY sword is a deadly yet pleasurable instrument LADIES ALWAYS protect yourself and your VAG!!!!!! Guys unless get check up and half dont dont knw what they have brewing in their weapons .Men are alot of time carriers which they hve no symtoms and dont know themseves if they have anything .If ou dont know where your ma has been it shoulnt be inside any of ur holes with out protection.If a man insist not to use anything insist its not going in anywhere .the biggest myth about I pulled out you cant get prego is a lie pre cum r the fastest swimmers I should know thats where my daughter came from lol .Fuck away but remember safety first !!!!!!

    10. I HAD A SITUATION LIKE THAT A COUPLE OF HOURS AGO..SHE INSITED TO USE A CONDOM…AND I PRESPECT THAT A LOT…CAUSE I KNOW SHES CLEAN AND SAFE…I THINK I WILL HANG OUT WITH HER FOR A WHILE CHEERS…

    11. I like your style. I hate condoms…. like the concept, but the application sucks. So, I’ll go naked head if I can and I do like your idea of using guilt to those ends. As for unwanted pregnancy…. make ‘em eat it or wear it.

    12. One of my favorite discussions was with a friend’s mom. We were talking about groupies and she uttered the immortal words “Don’t sleep with rockstars! They all have diseases!” It’d be real nice if they could invent some sort of spray-on condom that’d protect against disease and pregnancy but would still feel amazing. Where’s all the government funding for that?

    13. I want my cunt to be wet but not from oozing open sores thanxxx but no thanxxx my box is impotant to me no condom no nothing

    14. How do you know that she’s not simply insisting on a condom because she already has something? And both men and women can have STDs that are hard or impossible to test for. You only know when it hits you. [Free clinics don't cover it all either.]

      “Having put this information out there, don’t be going around raping girls,” Very good advice. Most men aren’t sure what rape is. Even if she seems iffy or you get mad, it’s technically not consensual at that point. While the girl should stand up for herself, some don’t/ can’t.

    15. Once again, Prince, you speak true.
      A girl I know (we more or less consider ourselves sisters for some reason) is the biggest slut I’ve ever met, will fuck almost anything with a penis and insists on NO condom.
      I, on the other hand, am not nearly as experienced, and I always insist on the man wearing a condom.

    16. “Also, seriously this shit won’t work on every girl, you may just get slapped and thrown the fuck out”

      yup.

      I usually let him sleep on the couch though…

      I’m probably too nice, but I WILL kiss n tell if a guy tries to get away with shit.

      My attitude is that if I am not seriously considering him as a permanent (read:marriage type) partner, we wrap up. And I won’t make that decision until I am WELL into a relationship. Barebacking is awesome, but it is definitely an earned privilege.

    17. Never had this problem, have had it fall out again during more daring positions with other partners. One of us usually notices immediately, which will mean a mutual pause while it’s re-inserted. Respect and communication go a long way.

      I don’t think any male will appreciate the slowly-building, nagging, soul-eating fear of your period being more than a day late.

    18. Just because a woman insists you wear a condom doesn’t make her disease free! Same thing even if she lets you do it bare back! There are plenty of people male and female who do not disclose their sexual past or diseases! If you’re willing to deal with the possible consequences from a “good time”, then do what you want. I’m sure there are some messed up people with even HIV/AIDS who are hateful and vindictive, and dupe others into thinking they’re “clean”! Also I have no sympathy for possible pregnancy issues. Either take the “Plan B/morning after” pills, get an abortion, deal with having the child, or if you already have children or are childfree by choice get sterilized! No birth control is totally 100%! Been in that situation twice, and am now still childfree and glad I had a tubal done!

    19. For a man who seems to stand in truth (or at least protests to), I find this post (and many others) very contradictory. If the girl wants you to wear a condom, she has self-respect and a few working brain cells. Consider your self lucky and expertly fuck her (remember to not complain). If you have any imagination at all, the condom will easily disappear in your mind during the activity. It’s nasty and manipulative to put on pretenses in sex, or elsewhere for that matter. Unless you’re a poser/actor in life. . .

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